AM I GROWING?
I know I've done plenty in my life to be proud of. I know I have people in my life who I can say the same for. Nonetheless, it's easy to lose sight of the magnitude of our accomplishments because we fall victim to comparison and the devil's hard at work ensuring we become insecure.
The usage of social media as our main platform to share (or overshare) only fosters that kind of thinking. Every spring, we see high schoolers graduating with 4.87 GPA's, recognition from the president, and scholarship awards that could offset the country's deficit. At least, that's how it seems. Of course we're proud of them doing things we never did, but you can't help but think "I'm 22 and I can't balance a checkbook...." (I can, ☺) We're our biggest critics and no matter how much we reach or even surpass our goals, there will always someone or something else we end up "wanting" more.
Although New Year's Resolutions aren't my strong suit, there's something about having a clean slate that makes introspection a little more feasible. I can't help but think of myself "this time last year". January 2017, I was convinced I was having / going to have the worst year of my life, despite the fact that it had just started. I let my anxiety, a heart break, and serious misguidance bury me in worry and doubt. As if everyday struggles don't take care of that on their own.
This deluded dystopia - or my version of the Sunken Place as I liked to call it, gave me numerous opportunities to realize that what I want falls short in comparison to what I need in life. It would be really great if I were dating Idris Elba but is that what I need? Probably not the best example. But I'm certain a situation comes to mind when I say that what you want isn't always necessarily what you need. If we continue living life wanting to one up everyone for the need to feel superior, we're going to be chasing waterfalls. If at the end of the day none of it draws me closer to God I wasted my time chasing that "something better". It's still super important to improve, but with the right motives.
Narrowing down my ultimate life objectives have made differentiating my needs and wants a lot easier. I might not always have the answer off the top of my head for how to reach those goals, but determining obstacles isn't impossible either.
I'm proud of my "before and after" snapshot of my highest highs and lowest lows over the years. My accomplishments don't need to be tangible or even measurable to be real and significant. God puts situations and people in my life for a reason and the way I choose to react to them is on me. I can either live in regret and doubt, or take life step by step and applaud myself through those dips.