Good morning everyone,
Happy New Years Eve! I couldn't end the year without a blog post to wrap this year with a pretty little bow. Afterall, 2016 needed something pretty if you ask me.
All jokes aside, lots of people have said that 2016 has been complete trash. While some parts were pretty rubbish, I wouldn't say it was complete trash. I say this almost every year (especially since coming to college), but I think I have learned the most about myself this year.
This semester has been the most emotionally straining I have experienced in college. I came in super eager about being an RA, living near campus again, being closer to friends, and living in an apartment for the first time. I told myself, this is your year, 4.0 all the way through, chapters will be read a week before the lecture, etc. Ask me if any of those things came to fruition, ha. I think I got senioritis on the second day of school, it was REAL. I couldn't be bothered to wake up, I had concluded going to my classes was pointless, and although I always did my work - I would do the bare minimum. This semester was also financially trying, I wasn't sure how I would finish paying my bills off. At a certain point, I was convinced I wouldn't be able to graduate on time. The vain part of me was sad she would have to change her bio to UMD 18. Dealing with financial issues is enough to really throw you off your game and want to give up. And I almost wanted to.
Every once in awhile, I would feel bad about the quality of my work and actually try (every once in awhile). Like any seasoned college student, I started to put in work after Thanksgiving Break. By the grace of God however, I was surprised at the end of the semester with Dean's List despite my lack of effort. Like, actually hadn't expected that at all.
College, or school in general will always be hard. But ever since the day I was given hope to keep trying, no obstacle seemed large enough to get in the way of my success. I have had my fair share of trials and tribulations but nothing compared to this year. This is why I came to the realization that all the struggling is temporary, the tears will go away, and I will be okay.
My faith and seeking a better relationship with God has been so incredible but also challenging. It has been so difficult to do what I think I want for myself and doing what I know God wants for me. It's almost analogous to your parents telling you to do your homework when you get home but you really want to watch the new episode of The Tyra Show. They want me to do my homework because they know it's good for me, but I want to watch TV – the previews for this episode seemed enthralling. Obeying your earthly parents is just as crucial as obeying your heavenly Father.
The hardest part of exploring my faith though, has been thinking what others will think of me. What will my Christian friends think when I do this? What will my non-Christian friends think? And everyday I will remind myself, it doesn't matter. But considering I had to remind myself everyday, I couldn't convince myself that it didn't matter what anyone thought.
The most important thing I learned about my faith is the power of prayer. God already knows what I need him to do for me and the people around me, but taking some time to speak with Him is crucial. Sometimes I found myself really wanting to talk about my issues with other people before I even talked to God about it or prayed about it. Dealing with so many stressors this year would have been unbearable if I wasn't using God the way I have been. He has never let me down, and has always provided abundantly. I am so thankful for all the blessings I have been given this year and cannot wait to pursue Him and the word further this upcoming year.
I am done making New Year's Resolutions; if I know I want some aspect of my life to change I wouldn't wait to change it on January 1st. I think resolutions create a space of 1. complacency (y'all know this is my favorite word), and 2. procrastination.
I have already come to terms that I was not happy with my weight and wanted to shed a few pounds and live a healthier lifestyle, so I started working out and eating healthy last month.
I already noticed my hair growth was stunted and I had to take better care of it, so I cut it in August.
Start changing bad habits or things you aren't satisfied with as soon as you can. You have nothing to lose, so why not be the best you you can be now?
I want to wish you all a joyous, fun-filled, and SAFE New Year. God bless!